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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24525004">To be Myself</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohayohimawari/pseuds/ohayohimawari'>ohayohimawari</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aro Kakashi, Aromantic, Aromantic Hatake Kakashi, Character Study, Drabble, Gen, Kakashi Lounge Event, Short &amp; Sweet, pride month, pride prompt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:01:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>645</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24525004</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohayohimawari/pseuds/ohayohimawari</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A conversation between Kakashi and Kurenai in which he assures her of his happiness.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>The Kakashi Lounge</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To be Myself</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for a Kakashi Lounge event; prompt: pride.</p><p>I do not own these characters; I'm having a wonderful time exploring them.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Thank you for being my date to this, Kakashi,” Kurenai grinned, mirth not quite reaching her eyes, “and for being my date to <em>every</em> occasion before this since Asuma passed.” Her penetrating gaze drifted from Kakashi’s to the table at which they sat. She rested one hand, grown soft and elegant in the years since her early retirement upon it, and let her thumb caress the cloth that covered the table.</p><p>Kakashi recognized the gesture as a betrayal of a heavier thought and waited patiently for the ‘but’ that would begin her next sentence.</p><p>“But I don’t want to keep you from meeting someone special,” she tapped her fingers on the table and lifted her eyes to his again.</p><p>Kakashi covered her hand with his, warming her chilled fingers as he reassured, “You’re not.”</p><p>Kurenai’s smile softened, yet still lacked authenticity. She gestured to Yamato and Genma, who shared their first dance together as legal, wedded partners. “I want you to have their happiness, the kind of happiness that I had with Asuma too, Kakashi. You deserve it, and I worry that I’m preventing you from finding it.”</p><p>“If I’m a bad date, just say so,” Kakashi chuckled through his attempt to dodge the subject.</p><p>Kurenai sat silent; her striking eyes proved she knew him too well and for too long for him to dance around the topic.</p><p>Kakashi removed his hand from hers, let it fall to his lap where his other rested, and he clasped them together. “That’s not how I interpret happiness, Kurenai; that’s not what I want for myself.”</p><p>He felt rather than saw Kurenai’s scrutiny. “You’ve experienced a lot of losses in your life, Kakashi. It’s understandable if you have trouble becoming close to someone.”</p><p>“That’s not—well, I-I suppose that <em>could</em> be part of it,” Kakashi felt honesty and hesitation tumble from his mouth at the same time. He paused while he picked out the exact words he wanted to say. “It runs deeper than that, Kurenai, much deeper.”</p><p>Kakashi’s shoulders rose and fell with a sigh. “I don’t <em>crave</em> another person the way Yamato and Genma crave each other or the way you and Asuma did.”</p><p>Kurenai lingered in silence long enough for him to look up at her. “Haven’t you ever <em>been</em> with anyone?” She leaned in close to him so that she could speak in a hushed voice.</p><p>“I’m human, Kurenai,” Kakashi laughed at her question, “and I’ve read Master Jiraiya’s novels since before I was old enough to be allowed to. Of course, I was curious,” he lowered his voice, “but that’s not for me.</p><p>“I’m happy to be Gai’s rival. I’m happy to be Naruto’s, Sakura’s, and Sasuke’s teacher. I’m happy to guide Yamato and Sai. I’m happy to have as many friends as I do. And I am <em>very</em> happy to be your date and to see you safely to your home before I return to mine.”</p><p>Kakashi lifted his hand to cover Kurenai’s again. “I know it’s not your happiness or their happiness, but it’s my happiness, and I promise you that I <em>am</em> happy. And,” he licked his masked lips, “I’d like it if you accepted that about me even or especially if you don’t understand it.”</p><p>Kurenai shifted her hand beneath his, turned it over so she could wrap her fingers around Kakashi’s hand and squeezed it. “Of course, I can,” she assured through a genuine smile.</p><p>“Good,” Kakashi replied and let out the breath he didn’t realize he’d held.</p><p>“You make a great date by the way,” Kurenai’s lips remained curled in a grin, “and now I’m free to enjoy them fully.” She squeezed Kakashi’s hand even tighter. “Thank you for telling me.”</p><p>Kakashi felt his smile spread upward into his eyes, where Kurenai could see it. “Thank you for giving me these opportunities to be myself.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">The End</span>
  </strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Join <a href="https://discord.gg/fxyw3eB">The Kakashi Lounge Discord Server</a><br/>To be a member, you must be:<br/>-at least 18 years old<br/>-able to play nice with others in a multishipping community</p><p>You must complete an intro to have a role assigned and access granted to the server.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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